


and i close my eyes and i take it in

by timetravelercat



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: (kinda?), Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Just angst, Nothing but angst, One Shot, i mean this is my own theory of where rick is, so idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-12 00:58:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19121338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timetravelercat/pseuds/timetravelercat
Summary: "Inside this small room, he has nothing and no one except for his mind."Some of Rick's thoughts while being away from his family.





	and i close my eyes and i take it in

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on tweet of mine that someone suggested I write it and... well, I did it! To my own surprise. 
> 
> I haven't written anything in SO LONG and I never really wrote Richonne despite being in the fandom for years, so I apologize if this majorly sucks.

~*~

 

This is his life now, sitting in the dark all day with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. There is no light except for the rays of sun that manage to reach the tiny window of his cell, a cell that reminds him a bit too much of the one he put Negan in – oh the irony of fate, the Universe could be so cruel sometimes... Maybe he deserves it, for his war crimes, for everyone whose death he was responsible for. Maybe this was a fitting punishment for all of his sins.

 

A dark chuckle always escapes his lips whenever he thinks about his situation. He's been there for years. Where exactly? Not even he knows, he never managed to find out before they locked him up.

 

He first woke up in a bed, hooked to some machines, his body aching all over, disoriented – where was his family, he used to ask – and confused, his last memory had been of blowing up the bridge and then everything is a blur. There’s this foggy memory of Anne and helicopter sounds, but nothing else. They said he could stay until he was recovered and, as he couldn't move, he had to accept that offer. Then they said he had to stay a while to pay his debt – we saved your life and now you owe us –  and he, again, had no choice but to accept. Then he tried to run, to go back home to his family, but they caught him.

 

So a tiny cell it was...

 

He's been there for years. Six, to be more precise.

 

He never lost track of the time – he couldn't – because every minute he stayed there was a minute away from his family and he had already lost six years. Judith was around ten now, he had missed more than half of her life, of her childhood. His little girl, the one he sworn to love and protect, was growing up without him.

 

He wondered if she still remembers him, what he looks like, what he sounds like. The thought of her not recognizing him when he saw her again broke his heart. He hopes she at least remembers how much he loves her.

 

It pains him more than he can explain that he wasn't there to teach her how to survive – there's no doubt in his mind that she does know how, because she has an amazing mother after all. Maybe he can still show her a few tricks in the future. He also knows that she's not unfamiliar to unconditional love, because Michonne has always loved her as much as he did and that always brings him a small bit of comfort.

 

Michonne...

 

It has been six years since he last saw the woman he loves. It's been six whole years since he last kissed her, since he last held her hand, since he last hugged her. He remembers seeing her at the bridge, remembers how she gave him strength to keep fighting – fight for me, Rick. Fight for all of us – and how happy he was to have found her after looking for what felt like an eternity. But then he woke up. It wasn't real. The last time he saw and spoke to her hadn't been real.

 

Still, those words, her words, were always the ones that had kept him going all these years, she has always been his strength, his rock, his life line, even if she didn't know it.

 

He wonders how she's doing, how she's been holding on. He knows in his heart that she's been an amazing mother and an amazing leader, he trusts that she's been looking out for their people, their community. Alexandria must be doing better than ever. He also wonders if she misses him as much as he misses her, if thinking of him brings her the same will to fight as thinking of her does to him. He hopes it does.

 

Has she moved on?

 

That's a question that lingers through his mind even though he doesn't it to. It's a stubborn thought of an insecure man, a man he doesn't to be, because he knows it’s unfair to expect her to wait for him – does she even know he’s alive? It's been six years after all and that's a long time to wait for someone to come back home.

 

Six years is also a long time to be alone, especially in a world like theirs, and he doesn't want her to be alone. No, he wants her to be happy, to be loved. If she has moved on, found someone, he hopes they’re a good person, he hopes they loves her as much as he does and he hopes they’re a good surrogate parent to Judith.

 

This line of thinking always hurts him, it’s always like someone is grabbing his heart and squeezing it, but he can’t stop himself. Inside this small room, he has nothing and no one except for his mind. The other prisoners don’t bother trying to talk to him anymore.

 

No matter what though, he hopes Michonne knows how much he loves her, he hopes she remembers how happy they were together, how she saved him in more ways than one, and one day… one day he’ll tell her how she still continued to save him while he was away, day after day, month after month, year after year. Even if going back means having to watch her be happy with someone else.

 

Never going home isn’t even an option to him, it might take him another six years or even ten, but he’ll return to Alexandria. It could be that the only thing waiting for him when he arrives is his beloved son’s grave, that he used to visit every single morning, but he’ll make it back. He’ll see his loved ones again, the ones that he has left. He will.

 

Rick Grimes is nothing if not determined.


End file.
